ShowDontTell读后续写技巧指导课件高三英语二轮复习

Show,Don’tTellHowtowritevividdescriptions,handlebackstory,anddescribeyourcharacters’emotions

DefinitionWhat

show,don’ttell

meansTellingShowing

meansthatyou—theauthor—giveyourreadersconclusionsandinterpretations;youtellthemwhattothinkinsteadoflettingthemthinkforthemselves.meansthatyouprovideyourreaderswithenoughconcrete,vividdetailssothattheycandrawtheirownconclusions.islikegivingreadersasecondhandreportafterward.letsreadersexperiencetheeventsfirsthand,throughthefivesensesofthecharacter.islikereadingaboutanaccidentinthenewspaperthedayafterithappened.islikewitnessingtheaccidentthemomentithappens,hearingthescreech(尖锐刺耳的声音)ofthemetalandthescreamsoftheinjured.TellingShowing

summarizeseventsthathappenedinthepastorgivesgeneralstatementsthatdon’thappenatanyspecifictime.letsreaderswitnesseventsinrealtime,inactualsceneswithactionanddialogue.Westayinthepresent,firmlyrootedinthePOVcharacter’sexperience.

isabstract.createsaconcrete,specificpictureinthereader’smind.

givesyoufacts.evokes(唤起)emotions.

TellingShowing

isalsocallednarrativesummary.isdramatization.distancesreadersfromtheeventsinthestoryandfromthecharactersandmakesthempassiverecipients(接受者)ofinformation.involvesreadersinthestoryandmakesthemactiveparticipants.ANEXAMPLETelling:

Tinawasangry.Showing:

Tinaslammedthedoorshutandstormedintothekitchen.“Whatthehellwereyouthinking?”

NineredflagsfortellingHowtotellwhenyou’retelling1)ConclusionsIfyougiveyourreadersconclusions,youaretelling.Toshow,providethemwithenough“evidence”sotheycancometotheconclusionsthemselves.Telling:

Itwasobviousthathewastryingtopickafight.Showing:

“Whatdidyoujustsay?”Snarling(咆哮着说),hesteppedforward,rightintoJohn’sspace.Telling:

Shecheckedtheman’svitalstatus.Showing:

Shebentandplacedtwofingersonhisneck.Afaintpulsethrobbed(跳动)beneathherfingertips.2)Abstractlanguage3)Summaries

Ifyousumupwhathappened,you’retelling.Sometimes,Icomeacrossamanuscriptthatreadslikeasynopsis(梗概)andthatsumsupeverythingthatishappeninginsteadofshowingitinactualscenes.That’sfineifyouareactuallywritingasynopsis,butnotforyournovel.Readersdon’tjustwanttogetageneralideaofwhathappened;theywanttoseespecificdetails.Telling:

Thedogattacked.Shetriedtodefendherself.Showing:

Thedogleaped,canines(犬齿)bared.Shethrewupherarmtoprotectherthroat.4)Backstories

Ifyoureportthingsthathappenedinthepast,beforethisverymoment,youaretelling.Forimportantscenes,showyourreaderswhatishappeningasit’shappening,inrealtime,insteadofsummingupwhathappenedafewminutesago.Agoodindicatorforwhenyoumightbereportingthingsthathappenedinthepastisifyoufindyourselfusingthepastperfect.Telling:

Ihadtestedthecartoseeifitwouldstart.Itdidn’t.Showing:

Iturnedthekeyintheignition（点火开关）.Aclick-click-click-clicknoisedriftedupfromtheengine.Ismashedmyfistintothesteeringwheel.“Dammit!”Telling:

Thedogtucked(把…藏入)itstailbetweenitslegsandwhined

(惨叫)anxiously.Showing:

Thedogtuckeditstailbetweenitslegsandwhined.5)Adverbs

Ifyoufindyourselfusinganadverb,youareusuallytelling.Wheneverpossible,cuttheadverbs.Telling:

“Don’tlietome,”sheshoutedangrily.Showing:

“Don’tlietome,dammit.”Sheslammedherpalmonthetable.Telling:

Tinaslowlywalkeddownthestreet.Showing:

Tinastrolleddownthestreet.Telling:

Iwasafraid.Showing:

OhGod,ohGod,ohGod.Mykneesfeltlikesquishy

(湿软的)spongesasIfleddownthestairs.6)Adjectives

Likeadverbs,adjectivescanalsobetelling,especiallyiftheyareabstractadjectivessuchas

interesting

or

beautiful

.Telling:

It

was

cold.Showing:

Shebreathedintoherhandstowarmhernumbfingers.7)LinkingVerbs

Linkingverbsareverbsthatconnectasubjectwithanadjectiveornoun.Examplesare

was/were

,

is/are,felt,appeared,seemed,looked

.Theproblemwiththemisthattheyareweak,static(静态的)verbsthatdon’tshowusanaction.Replacemostofthemwithmoreactiveverbs.Telling:

Tina

felt

tired.Showing:

Sherubbedhereyes.Telling:Tina

seemed

impressed.

Showing:Tina’seyeswidened,andherlipsformedasilent,“Wow!”Telling:

Tina

looked

asifshewasgoingtocry.Showing:

Tina’sbottomlipstartedtoquiver.Telling:

WhenJohnleft,BettyandTinawererelieved.Showing:

WhenthedoorclosedbehindJohn,BettywipedherbrowandTinaexhaledthebreathshe’dbeenholding.8)EmotionWordsWhenyou’renamingemotions,youaretelling.Insteadofnamingemotions,useactions,thoughts,visceral(出自内心的)reactions,andbodylanguagetoshowwhatyourcharactersarefeeling.9)FiltersFilterwordsareverbsthatdescribethecharacterperceivingorthinkingsomething,forexample,saw,smelled,heard,felt,watched,noticed,realized,wonderedand

knew

.Theproblemisthatfilterwordstellyourreaderswhatthecharacterperceivesorthinksinsteadoflettingthemexperienceitdirectly.Readersareforcedtowatchthecharacterfromtheoutsideinsteadofbeinginherhead,experiencingthingsalongwithher.Telling:

TinaheardBettysuckinabreath.Showing:

Bettysuckedinabreath.Telling:

Tinarealizedshehadlostherkeys.Showing:

Tinapattedherpockets.Nothing.

Ohshit

.Wherewereherkeys?TheArtofShowing

Howtoturntellingintoshowing1)UsethefivesensesShowingmeanslettingyourreadersexperienceyourstoryworldalongwiththepointofviewcharacter.Trytoengageallofyourreaders’senses,notjustsight.Ineveryscene,putyourselfinyourPOVcharacter’sshoesanddescribewhathecansee,hear,smell,taste,andsense.Istuckmynoseoutofthecar’sopenwindowandbreathedinthefreshpinescent.Thecoldairmademycheeksburnandmyeyestear.2)Usestrong,dynamic(动态的)verbsMakeyourwritingcometolifebyusingstrong,activeverbs,notverbsthatareweakandstatic.Forexample,insteadofsaying

shewalked

,use

shestrutted(昂首阔步)

,

shestrode(大步走)

,

shetrudged(步履沉重地走)

,or

shetiptoed(踮着脚走)

toshowusexactlyhowshemoves.Keeponthelookoutforweakverbs—usuallyallformsof

tobe

(includingtheoverused

therewas

and

therewere

)and

tohave

—andreplacethemwithverbsthatpaintaclearerpictureinthereader’smind.Telling:

Themanwasthinandworeacoatthatwastoobigforhim.Showing:

Hiscoathungaroundhisframe.Becarefulnottooverdoit,though.Attimes,youjustwantyourcharacterstowalkacrossaroom,withoutdrawingattentiontoit,insteadofstrutting,trudging,ortiptoeing.Iftheactionisnotthatimportant,usingaweakerverbisfine.Butifyouwanttobuildsuspenseandtension,usethestrongerverbtoshowwhatyourcharacterisfeelingwhileshewalks.3)UseconcretenounsTrytobeasspecificaspossibleratherthanusinggeneric(通用的)terms.That’snotjusttrueforverbs,butfornounstoo.Useconcretenounsthatcreatetheimageyouwantinreaders’minds.Insteadofhavingyourcharacterseatbreakfast,letyourreadersknowthatthey’rehavingeggsandbacon.Telling:

Tinalivedinabighouse.Showing:

Tina’sstepsechoedacrossthefoyer（前厅)assheenteredthemansion.4)BreakactivitiesintosmallerpartsOnetricktowriteinamoreconcretewayistobreakgenericactivitiesintosmallerparts.Insteadoftellingusthatyourprotagonistiscleaning,showusthatshe’svacuumingandfrowningatthesockshefindsbeneaththecouch.

Don’toverdoit,though.Iftheactivityisn’timportant,sumitupinageneralsweep.Butifitrevealssomethingaboutthecharacter—maybehowfastidious(有洁癖的)sheis—ormovestheplotforward,breakitdownintoitsparts.Ifshefindsnotasockbutdrugsbeneathherson’sbed,itmightbeworthshowingyourreadersthedetailsinsteadofjustsaying

shewascleaning

.5)UsefigurativelanguageOnewaytocreateimagesinreaders’mindsandmakeyourwritingmorevividistheuseoffigurativelanguage,especiallysimiles(明喻)andmetaphors(暗喻).Asimileisafigureofspeechthatcomparestwothingsusingthewords

like

or

as

,e.g.,herhairshonelikegold.Ametaphorcomparestwothingsmoredirectly,e.g.,thecompanywasagoldmine.Telling:

Bettyhadcallused(有茧子的)palms.Showing:

Betty’spalmsfeltlikesandpaper.6)WriteinrealtimeMakesureyouwriteinscenesandlettheactionunfoldinrealtime.Insteadofsummingupwhathappened,letyourreaderswitnessthemoment-to-momentaction.Youdon’tneedtoshoweverythinginrealtime,ofcourse;otherwise,yournovelwillbefullofmeaninglessactionsthatwillreadlikefiller.Tellingcanbeagreattooltocompressthenonessentialparts.It’stheimportantscenes—theonesthatmovetheplotforwardorrevealsomethingaboutacharacter—thatyouwanttoshow.7)UsedialogueOnewaytoshowtheactioninrealtimeistowritedialogue.Dialogueisalwaysshowing—atleastifyoudoitright.8)UseinternalmonologueShowingwhatyourPOVcharacteristhinkingcanalsohelptorevealheremotionswithouthavingtonamethem.Telling:

Iwasrelievedwhenmyworkdayended.Showing:

Finally,thebellrang,announcingtheendofmyworkday.

ThanktheLord

.9)FocusonactionsandreactionsYouhaveprobablyheardthesaying

actionsspeaklouderthanwords

.Justtellingyourreadersthatyourcharacterisamean,bitterwomanmightnotbeenoughforthemtobelieveit.Showingherkickapuppywillimmediatelyconvinceyourreadersthatshe’smean.Insteadoftellingyourreadersaboutyourcharacters’personalitytraits,letthemgettoknowthecharactersthroughtheiractions.Telling:

Tinawasaloyalfriend.Shealwayshelpedoutwheneveroneofheracquaintancesorfamilymembersneededher.Showing:

“Comeon.”Tinapattedhershoulder.“Assemblingthefurniturewon’tbethatbad.Youknowwhattheysayaboutmanyhands.”Shepickedupthescrewdriver.Telling:

Jakehadalwaysbeenalittleclumsy.Showing:

Whenhereachedouttopickupthesaltshaker,heknockedoverhiswineglass.Dangerarea1

Howtohandlebackstory4.Tellingreaderswhatthecharactersfeel(Emotions)1.Tellingreadersabouteventsthathappenedbeforethestorybegan(Backstory)2.Tellingreaderswhatthecharacterslooklike(Characterdescriptions)3.

Tellingreaderswhatthecharacterexperiencethroughtheirsenses(Settingdescriptions)ThreedangerareasfortellingBasically,backstoryiseverythingthathappenedpriortopageoneofyourbook,forexample,eventsfromyourcharacter’schildhoodorpastrelationships.Backstoryisimportantbecauseitshapeswhoyourcharactersaretodayandhowtheywillreacttothingsthathappeninthestory.DEFINITIONOFBACKSTORY

▲Backstory,especiallyifyouintroduceittooearly,

killssuspense

.THEPROBLEMWITHBACKSTORY

▲Backstory

isn’tstory.

▲Backstory

isoftendumpedonreadersmuchtoosoon

.

▲Backstory

slowsdownthepacing

.Dangerarea2

Howtohandledescriptions

▲

Avoidvaguenounsandusespecificones

instead.

▲

Ifyouuseadjectives,makesuretheyaredescriptiveones.

▲

Useallfivesenses.

▲

Trynottorelyonclichés

inyourdescriptions.

▲

Thebestdescriptionsaredynamic,notstatic.

▲

Avoidlargeblocksofdescription.

DESCRIPTIONSOFSETTING

▲

Thebestdescriptionsaretheonesthattellusmorethanjusthowthecharacterlooksbut

revealsomethingabouthisorherpersonality

too.

▲

Readersdon’tneedtoknoweverylittledetail

aboutwhatthecharacterlookslike.

▲

Don’tdescribeyourcharacterallatonce,inonelargeblockofdescription.DESCRIPTIONSOFCHARACTERS

▲

Avoidlonglistsofdetails

.

▲

Usestrong,dynamicverbs

insteadofstaticones.DESCRIPTIONSOFCHARACTERS

▲

Usedialogue.

Dangerarea3

HowtodescribeemotionsTellingandshowing:

Sheclappedherhandsindelight.Showing:

Sheclappedherhands.Tellingandshowing:

Tina’seyesnarrowedangrily.Showing:

Tina’seyesnarrowed.AVOIDNAMINGEMOTIONS

Don’tnameemotionsbecausethatistelling.RelieffloodedTina’schest,makingithardforhertobreathe.Oh,thankGod!

Shepressedherhandtoherchest,tryingtocatchherbreath.EMOTIONASTHESUBJECTOFASENTENCE

Don’thavetocutoutallemotionwords.Sometimes,whenyouuseanemotionasthesubjectofasentenceandpairitwithastrongverb,itcanwork—butonlyifyouusethistechniquesparingly.EIGHTWAYSTOREVEALEMOTIONWITHOUTTELLING

1)PhysicalresponsesEmotionsalwaystriggerphysicalresponses.Whenweareafraid,ourheartsstartracing,ourpalmsbecomesweaty,andourmusclestense.Theseareinvoluntary,visceral(出自内心的)reactionsthatwehavenocontrolover.MakesureyoudescribephysicalsensationsonlyforthePOVcharacter.Ifit’sanon-POVcharacterexperiencingacertainemotion,wecanonlyseetheoutwardphysicalresponses,forexample,tremblinghands.Telling:

Iwasafraid.Showing:

Tremorswrackedmybody,andcoldsweattrickleddownmyback.Telling:

Shewasangry.Showing:

Veinsthrobbed(抽动)inhertemples.2)BodylanguageandactionsBodylanguageisagreatwaytoshowwhatacharacterfeels.Remembertousestrong,dynamicverbstoconveytheemotion.Telling:

Bettywaselated(兴高采烈的).Showing:

Bettytwirled(旋转),herarmsspreadwideasiftohugtheentireworld.Telling:

Shewasashamedofherknobby(凸起的)knees.Showing:

Sheloweredherlashes(睫毛)andtuggedherskirtoverherknobbyknees.Telling:

IlookedatBettywithannoyance.Showing:

IglaredatBetty.3)FacialexpressionsFacialexpressionsareanotherwonderfulwaytoconveyemotions,butrememberthatyoucanonlyusethemfornon-POVcharacters.Telling:

Shewasamused.Showing:

Herlipscurledupinasmile.Telling:

Shelookedpuzzled.Showing:

Herbrowfurrowed(皱眉),andhereyesrolledupwardasifseekinganswersfromabove.4)DialogueMakesureyouusedialoguetorevealwhatyourcharactersarefeeling.It’sastrongtool,sincedialoguecan—literally—speakforitself.Ifyourcharactersaretenseorangry,letthemspeakinshortersentencesandusewordswithhardersounds.Iftheyareplayful(嬉戏的)orinareflective(沉思的)mood,maketheirsentencesandwordslonger.Andifyourcharactersarenervous,theycouldstutter(结巴).Telling:

IwassoangryatJohn.Showing:

Ismashedmyfistontothedesk.“Goddammit,John!”Telling:

Shewaitedimpatiently.Showing:

Shetappedherfoot.“Comeon.I’mnotgettinganyyoungerhere.”5)Internalmonologue(thoughts)Showing

doesn’tmeanthatyoucanonlywriteaboutexternalthingssuchasactionsanddialogue.Youcan—andshould—alsodiveintoyourcharacter’smind.Internalmonologue—orintrospection(内省)—isanotherwordforcharacterthoughts.Youcaneitherpresentthoughtsasdirectinternalmonologue,writteninfirstpersonandpresenttenseandoftensetoffbyitalics,orasindirectinternalmonologueinthirdpersonandpasttense.Similartowhenyou’rewritingdialogue,thecharacter’swordchoicecanrevealhisorherfeelings.Telling:

Shewasconfused.Showing(indirectinternalmonologue):

Whatthehellwasgoingon?Telling:

Shetriedhardtohidehowjealousshewasofherbrother.Showing(directinternalmonologue):

ShestruggledtokeepherfaceexpressionlessasherfatherpattedTom’sshoulder.

Yeah,ofcourse,Daddy’sgoldenchildcandonowrong.6)SettingdescriptionsThewordsyouchoosetodescribeasettingfromacharacter’spointofviewcanrevealalotaboutwhatkindofmoodheorsheisin.Thesamesettingcanbeseeninadifferentlight,dependingonwhatmoodthePOVcharacterisin.Theweatheroranotherpartoftheexternalsettingcanalsomirrorwhatyourcharacterisfeeling.Telling:

Itrainedheavily.Showing(revealinganupbeatmood):

Raindropsdancedalongthewindowpane(窗玻璃).Showing(revealingapessimisticmood):Rainlashed(猛击)againstthewindow.7)ThefivesensesInmomentsofheightened(增强的)emotion,oursensescanalsobecomeheightened,sowe’resuddenlyhyperawareofsoundsorsmells.Telling:

Afraidofwhoeverwasfollowingme,Iwalkedfaster.Showing:

Footstepsechoedbehindme,andthestench(臭气)ofstale(难闻的)beerhitmynose.Iwalkedfaster.8)FigurativelanguageMetaphors,similes,andotherimagerycanalsobeaneffectivewaytorevealcharacteremotions.Telling:

Shestaredathimaggressively.Showing:

Shestaredathimlikeaprizefighter(职业拳击手)sizingup(打量)anopponent.Tellingindialogue

Howtorecognizeandfixit1)Maid-and-butlerdialogueMaid-and-butlerdialogue,alsocalled“asyouknow,Bob”dialogue,isaformofinfo-dumpingthroughdialogue.Theauthorwantstorevealsomeinformationtothereader,soheorshehasthecharacterstelleachotheraboutthatinformation,eventhoughtheybothknowaboutitalreadyandhavenoreasontotalkaboutit.“Asyouknow,Bob,themasterisawayonbusinessinLondonwithhisoldestson…”2)“Creative”dialoguetagsSomeauthorsseemtothinkthatreaderswillgetboredwith

said

asadialoguetag,sotheytrytocomeupwithmorecreativedialoguetagssuchas

exclaimed

(惊叫),

demanded

,or

commented

.Normally,varietyandcreativityaregoodthingswhenyou’reawriter,butthisisanexception.Thebestdialoguetagisalways

said

becauseit’sunobtrusive

(不引人注目的)anddoesn’tdistractfromthedialogueitself.Ifyouusedialoguetagsotherthansaid(ormaybeaskedandanswered),you’retelling.Avoiddialoguetagsthatexplainthedialoguetoyourreadersandletthedialoguespeakforitself.Telling:

“Can’tkeepupwithme?”sheteased.Showing:

“Can’tkeepupwithme,oldwoman?”Telling:

“Itwasn’thim.Itwasme,”Iconfessed.Showing:

“Itwasn’thim,”Isaid.“Itwasme.”3)AdverbsindialoguetagsUsingadverbsindialoguetagsisaformoftellingtoo.Theemotionshouldbevisibleinthedialogueitself,anditcanalsoberevealedthroughbodylanguageandfacialexpressions,soyoudon’tneedtheadverb.Telling:

“Isn’tmygardenbeautiful?”shesaidsmugly(自鸣得意地).Showing:

“That’sonefinelookinggarden,isn’tit?”Shepolishedhernailsonhershirt.Telling:

“Getout,”Isaidangrily.Showing:

“Getout.”Ishovedhimtowardthedoor.Telling:

“Itwasn’thim.Itwasme,”Iconfessed.Showing:

“Itwasn’thim,”Isaid.“Itwasme.”4)ReporteddialogueReporteddialogue—sometimescalledindirectdialogue—iswhenyou,theauthor,are

telling

yourreaderswhatonecharactersaidwithout

showing

theactualwordsinquotationmarks.Mostoften,youshouldavoidreporteddialoguesinceit’sanotherformoftelling.Telling:

Tinaexplainedthatshehadn’tseenhiminawhile.Showing:

“Ihaven’tseenhiminawhile,”Tinasaid.Telling:

Tinaaskedhowoftentheywenttothezoo.Showing:

“Howoftendoyougotothezoo?”Tinaasked.Iftheconversationisimportant,showit.Andifit’snotimportantbecauseitdoesn’tmoveyourplotforward,cutit.Theusesoftelling

HowtorecognizeandfixitWhentellingisthebetterchoice1)UnimportantdetailsWhenyoucomparethetellingexampleswiththeonesthatshow,youprobablyrealizethatshowingtakesupmorespaceonthepage.Themorespaceyougivetosomethinginyourstory,themoreimportantitwillseem.Showingisasignaltoreadersthatwhatyou’rewritingaboutisimportant,sothey’dbetterpayattention.Ifyoushoweverything,readerswillassumeeverythingisimportantandthey’lleventuallybecomeexhausted.Thereallyimportantthingswon’tstandoutanymore.Showing:

Imovedmymousetothetop-rightcornerofthescreenandclickedontheXicontoclosethebrowser.Telling:

Iclosedthebrowser.2)TransitionsTellingcanbeusefulfortransitionsbetweenscenes,whenyouarejumpingaheadintime,switchpointofview,orjumptoanotherlocation.Youcanusetellingtosummarizeaspanoftimeordistanceanddebrief(汇报)yourreadersonwhathappenedinbetweenthescenes.AfterthreedayswithoutacallfromJohn,Tinahadenough.Youcanusetellingfortransitionsnotjustatthebeginning,butattheendofascenetoo.Tellinghelpstomoveyourreadersintooroutofscenes.Bettylockedherapartmentdoorandwenttowork.“Wenttowork”istelling.Unlesssomethingexciting,forexample,anaccident,happensonthewaytowork,youdon’tneedtoshowthecarride.Sumitupbytellingreadersthatshewenttowork.ExercisesTelling:

Shewascold.Showing:

Herteethchatteredassheblewonherfingers.Telling:

Itwashotoutside.Showing:

Heatsizzled(发出咝咝声)fromthepavement.Shewipedhersweatybrowandtriednottog