职场女性沾上“强势”标签怎么办

1、同样的表现，如果是男人，人们会夸他坚决果断；但如果是女人，人们却可能批 她强势专横。到底是人们对女性存在偏见，还是女强人们的领导风格出了问题? 职场女性到底应该怎么处理这个难题？uXMJ 、Anne Fisher为财富杂志向 Anne提冋的专栏作者，这个职场专栏始于 1996年，帮助读者适应经济的兴衰起落、行业转换，以及工作中面临的各种困惑。职场女性沾上“强势”标签怎么办P erforma neejust firm and bossy by herDear Annie: A little band of women in my office (including me) have been t

2、alking about Sheryl San dbergs camp aig n to get people to stop calli ng girls bossy whe n they show leadersh ip traits that would be p raised for boys, and were curious about what you and your readers thi nk. I have been called bossy all my life, starting when I was just a kid, right up through eva

3、luati ons at my last emplo yer.Maybe Im super sensitive about this, because I dont see myself as bossy, demanding, the same as my male colleagues. Now, my daughter is getting called volleyball teammates, which really bugs me. On the other hand, some wome n here say that being called bossy is just on

4、e of those n egative stereotypes we should lear n to ignore and rise above. Your thoughts, p lease? - Not Bossy, Just the BossDear N.B.J.B.: Your sig nature sou nds like what Bey once said in her TV ads for San dbergs crusade (Im not bossy. Im the boss.), a series of sp ots that also featured Con do

5、leezza Rice and actress Jennifer Garner and kicked off a brief storm of con troversy in the pr ess last mon th. The thinking behi nd banning bossy - and the reas on the effort is co-s pon sored by the Girl Scouts of the Un ited States - is that call ing girls like your daughter, but not boys, bossy

6、discourages female kids from devel oping the leadersh ip skills theyll n eed to succeed as adults.Theres pr obably some truth to that. Why is bossy always bad? asks Gabrielle Adams, who teaches orga ni zati onal behavior at the London Busin ess School. Does it have a n egative conno tati on because

7、its always app lied to wome n? Or is boss in ess ascribed to str ong wome n because its n egative? Either way, she says, the word imp lies that some one is assum ing, or exercis ing, authority theyre not en titled to. Theyre overste pping their bou nds.When London Bus in ess School asked 2,218 wome

8、n man agers if the word had ever bee n app lied to them, 54% said theyd bee n called bossy at some point, or at more tha n one poin t, i n their careers.A man show ing the same traits would pr obably be called decisive or po werful in stead, Adams no tes. She points to years of research by Pri ncet

9、on Uni versity p sychology p rofessor Susa n Fiske show ing that, while men can be con sidered both likable and comp ete nt, wome n are p erceived as less likable the more comp ete nt they are.A woman who is a strong leader is violating what people may regard as normal feminine behavior, which is su

10、bmissive and self-effacing, says Adams. That can be unsettling or even threate ning, which is why bossy carries such a load of hostility.So how should wome n respond? You can certa inly call some one on it if they call you that, and explain why you hold the opinion or take the appr oach that earned

11、you the ep ithet, Adams says. But that just means that wome n have to spend more time and en ergy defe nding themselves, and justify ing their behavior, tha n men do.Or do they? Heres where it gets a lot less clear. Nancy Friedberg, a lon gtime executive coach and p reside nt of Career Leverage, oft

12、e n gets called in to large companies to work with male senior man agers who do nt get called bossy, but their colleagues do complain that theyre abrasive or arroga nt or eve n bully in g. Its the same behavior, just described in differe nt terms. (Her favorite HR eup hemism for domin eeri ng male b

13、osses is rough arou nd the edges.)Whether the difficult person in question is male or female, Friedberg says, the coaching method is the same: Figure out how and why this man ager has gotte n co-workers hackles up, and help him or her to alter the offending behavior.The most effective leaders of eit

14、her sex can be assertive and strong while still being resp ectful, Friedberg says. They can point out pr oblems and mistakes while still leav ing others dig nity in tact. Whether youre male or female, being highly con trolli ng or judgme ntal is whats see n as bossy or abrasive - and its not a leade

15、rshi p style that works well for an ybody.亲爱的安妮：谢丽尔？桑德伯格发起运动，号召人们不要在女性表现出男性身上备受推崇的 领导特质时给她们贴上“强势”的标签。我们办公室的一小群女士 （包括我）就这个话题展开了讨论，我们很好奇您和您的读者是怎么想的。从我还是小孩时开始，一直到上个老板对我进行绩效评估，别人一直说我“强势”。也许是我对这个问题太敏感了，因为我并不觉得自己强势， 只是意志坚定、要求严格罢了，跟我的那些男同事没什么区别。现在，我女儿也被她的排球队队友形容为强势了，这一点确实让我很困扰。另一方面，办公室的一些女同事说，被称作强势只是又一种我们需

16、要学 着忽略和克服的刻板偏见罢了。我想请问您对这个问题怎么看？一一并不强势的老板亲爱的“并不强势的老板”：你的签名听起来很像碧昂斯在她为桑德伯格的活动拍的电 视广告中用的口号（“我是老板，我不强势。”），康多莉扎？赖斯（美国前国务卿一一译注） 和女演员詹妮弗？加纳也参与拍摄了这一系列广告。上个月，这组广告在新闻界引发了不小 的争议。禁用“强势” 一词活动背后的想法以及美国女童子军协助承办这项活动的理由是， 人们用“专横”这个词来形容女孩（比如自己的女儿），会妨碍她们发展自己的领导才能，而这是她们长大后获得成功所必需的素质。这个观点或许有一定道理。伦敦商学院（Lon don Busi ness

17、School）教授组织行为学的加布里埃尔？亚当斯反问：“专横这个词为什么不好？难道因为它总是用在女性身上， 所以带上了负面的涵义？还是因为它有着负面涵义，才被用于形容强势的女性？ ”她表示，他们已经踩过界无论是哪种，这个词都在暗示：“有人接受或行使着他们无权享有的权力。 了。”伦敦商学院对2,218名女经理进行了调查，询问是否有人用这个词形容过她们。结果有 54%的受访者表示她们在工作中有至少一次被人称作“专横”的经历。亚当斯说：“拥有同样特质的男性可能会被形容为果断或者强势。”她指出，普林斯顿大学（Princeton University）的心理学教授苏珊？菲斯克经过多年调查，发现男性可以同

18、时获得讨人喜欢和能干的印象，而女性越能干就会越不讨人喜欢。这一点亚当斯说：“铁腕女性违背了人们认为的正常女性的举止一一顺从和谦逊， 可能会令人不安，甚至对人产生威胁，这就是为什么专横带上了这么多的敌意。”那么女性应当如何应对呢？亚当斯说：“如果有人这么说你，你当然可以去他们解释， 为什么你会有（给你赢得这种名声）想法或行动。但这就意味着女性需要比男性花上更多时 间和精力去进行自我保护，为自己的行为辩护。”事实果真如此吗？这点就远没有那么明显了。职业生涯规划公司 Career Leverage的总裁南希？弗雷德伯格长期为高管提供培训，她经常被邀请去大公司和男性高管打交道，那些 人“不会被人说成专

19、横，但他们的同事确实会抱怨他们粗鲁、傲慢甚至恃强凌弱。这是同样的行为，只是用了不同的词语来形容。”（对于那些专横跋扈的男老板， 她最喜欢的委婉形容是“不近人情”。）弗雷德伯格表示，无论这个难以相处的人是男是女，培训方式都是一样的：搞清这个领导是为什么，怎么会惹怒同事的，然后帮助他或她改变这些冒犯性的行为。弗雷德伯格说：“最高效的那些领导不论男女，都可以在独断和强势的同时受到人们的尊敬。他们可以指出问题和错误，同时不伤害别人的自尊。反之，无论你是男是女，表现出 很强的控制欲或者非常挑剔， 都会被认为是专横和粗鲁一一对任何人来说，这都不是一种合适的领导风格。”By her lights, anyo

20、ne who is called bossy (or abrasive) would be smart to take a hard look atwhy others think that. Friedberg recommends going after honest feedback - either via a formal 360-degree evaluati on or, more in formally, just by ask ing arou nd - with exa mples of p articular in sta nces where on es man age

21、me nt style rubbed people the wrong way.Most of your coworkers are only too happy to tell you where you could cha nge or impr ove, she no tes. Just dont be defe nsive. Really liste n to what theyre telli ng you. Then try to do less of whatever it is that comes across as bossy (or bully in g).In rare

22、 in sta nces, she adds, she has met wome n whose authority is rese nted no matter what they do or how they do it, at which point it may well be time to move to a differe nt company, p erha ps one with more wome n in high p laces. It could be a bad cultural fit, she says. But usually, if people in one orga ni zati on object to the way youre commu ni cat ing with them, youll get the same reacti onwherever you go. If t