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高三复习写作讲评课 Assessment & practice of Writing,评分的四大纬度,内容,语法,思想,框架-组织结构,要点全,拓展有度,有效,连接词,作文结构紧凑;流畅,准确,复杂语法结构,高级词汇,多种句型,开放能引起读者的共鸣,灵魂,1. 审题 2. 列提纲/要点 3.连词成句 4.连句成篇 5. 润色修正 6. 定稿,写作步骤:,体裁 时态 结构 要求,字数 内容,2008年奥运会刚刚落幕,一家英文报刊在其网站上征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议假设你叫李华,是该报的一名读者,请给该报编辑部写一封信,谈谈你的建议和理由内容包括 向公众开放,用于健身 租给体育公司,创造经济效益 开辟成旅游景点,吸引游客 Dear editor, I am Li Hua, a reader of your paper. ,信息2 信息3 信息4,开头 正文 结尾,1.审题:,体裁 人称 时态 要求 结构,字数 内容,一般现在时,Para.1 Para.2 Para.3,抓要点,100-120字,信息1,信息5,08年奥运会刚刚落幕. 征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议. 你想写一些建议.,向公众开放,用于健身,总结,意愿,书信格式,租给体育公司,创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点,吸引游客,第一,三人称,08年奥运会刚刚落幕. 征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议. 你想写一些建议,2.列提纲/要点,开头信息1,08年奥运会刚刚落幕. 征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议. 你想写一些建议.,.,Want to write some advice/Would like to give you some advice Contribute some suggestions to you.,Collect some advice How to use/make use of /make the best of the stadiums. After the Olympic Games After Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games .,The 2008 Beijing Olympic/ were over/finished/held successfully in Beijing.,向公众开放,用于健身. 租给体育公司,创造经济效益. 开辟成旅游景点,吸引游客,2.列提纲/要点,.,use it as/be used for/as; take it as; open it for places of interest/tourist attractions attract tourists/appeal to visitors/ be attraction for visitors,give to/rentto/be rented to sports company/companies which organize matches/organizing matches make/ create money; bring in money/make more profits,open/be opened to the people/public/open them to public. be used for/as; be made to; do some exercise/build our bodies/strengthen our bodies,信息2 信息3 信息4,向公众开放,用于健身,租给体育公司,创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点,吸引游客,正 文,2.列提纲/要点,.,信息5,总结,意愿,结尾,In my opinion/ as far as I am concerned/from my point of view. I would appreciate I hope you will think of /takeinto consideration.,开头信息1,08年奥运会刚刚落幕. 征集奥运会后如何综合利用体育场馆的建议. 你想写一些建议.,.,3.连词成句,The 2008 Beijing Olympic Games were over/finished. The 29th Olympic Games were held successfully in Beijing. Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games with a great success.,The 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success. Beijing achieved its dream of hosting the 29th Olympic Games successfully.,collect some advice how to use/make use of /make the best of the stadiums. after the Olympic Games after Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games .,You are collecting some advice on how to make use of the stadiums after Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games . I hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums after Beijing hosted the 29th Olympic Games successfully.,want to write some advice/Would like to give you some advice contribute some suggestions to you.,I would like to give you some advice. I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you,4.use it as/be used for/as;take it as;open it for places of interests/tourist attractions attract tourists/appeal to visitors/ be attraction for visitors,3.give to/rentto/be rented to sports company/companies which organize matches/organizing matches make/create money; bring in money/make more profits,信息2 信息3 信息4,向公众开放,用于健身,租给体育公司,创造经济效益,开辟成旅游景点,吸引游客,正 文,3.连词成句,2.open/be opened to the people/public/open them to public. be used for/as; be made to; do some exercise/build our body/strengthen our bodies,2.The stadiums can be opened to the public. The public can build their bodies/strengthen their bodies,3.The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in more money/make more profits,4.They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors.,.,信息5,总结,意愿,结尾,In my opinion/ as far as I am concerned/from my point of view. I would appreciate I would you will think of /takeinto consideration. In a word,3.连词成句,From my point of view, we should do what we can to make full use of the stadium. I would appreciate it if you would take my advice into deep consideration,4.连句成篇,Para.1: The 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success. I hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums. I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,Para.2:The stadiums can be opened to the public. The public can build their bodies/strengthen their bodies. The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in more money/make more profits. They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors.,Para.3: From my point of view, we should do what we can to make full use the stadium. I would appreciate it if you would take my advice into deep consideration,4.连句成篇,Para.1: The 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success. I hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums. I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,Para.1: I hear you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums after the 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success. Here I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you.,4.连句成篇,Para.2:The stadiums can be opened to the public. The public can strengthen their bodies. The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in much more profits. They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors.,Para.2: First of all, the stadiums can be opened to the public.The public can strengthen their bodies. Secondly,The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in much more profits. Last but not least, They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors.,First of all Firstly, To begin with,In addition, Besides, Moreover, Whats more,Finally, Eventually,At last,使用恰当的连接词,first; firstly; second; secondly; last but not least,and; too; as well as; along with; together with,for example; for instance; like; such as; as to,but; however; while; though; on the contrary,because; since; thanks to; as a result /consequence (of); thus; therefore,in a word; in short; to sum up; in conclusion,whats more; besides; to make matters worse; whats worse; worse still; furthermore,4.连句成篇,I heard you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums after the 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success. Here I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you. First of all, the stadiums can be opened to the public. The public can strengthen their bodies. Secondly, The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in much more profits. last but not least, They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors. From my point of view, we should do what we can to make full use the stadium. I would appreciate it very much if you would take my advice into deep consideration,5.润色修正,二. 使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档,三. 巧用倒装增强句子表现力,四. 尝试多样化表达方式,5. 润 色 修 正 方 式,一.使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力,强调句,With短语复合结构,定语从句,名词性从句(主宾表同从句),各种状语从句,被动语态,1. Many people want to visit the stadium . 2. The stadium is useful.,Many people are dying to visit the stadium.,The stadium is of great value.,一.使用较高级词汇使文章增加吸引力,5.润色修正,1.The 29th Olympic Games were successfully ended. It left many stadiums unused,The 29th Olympic Games were successfully ended, leaving many stadiums unused.,二. 使用非谓语动词使句子简洁高档,5.润色修正,1.we can let stadium make sense Only when we make full use of the stadium 2. The stadiums can be rented to the physical company to create more economic profits. they can be the places to appeal visitors to pay a visit.,Only when we make full use of the stadium can we let stadium make sense.,Not only can the stadiums be rented to the physical company to create more economic profits, but also they can be the places to appeal visitors to pay a visit.,5.润色修正,三. 巧用倒装增强句子表现力,We should take the Olympic stadiums into consideration after Beijing hosted the games successfully. The 29th Olympic Games were ended successfully. we start talking about how to use the stadiums properly for our daily lives,It is the Olympic stadiums that we should take into consideration after Beijing hosted the games successfully.,With the 29th Olympic Games ended successfully, we start talking about how to use the stadiums properly for our daily lives.,5.润色修正,四. 尝试多样化表达方式,强调句,With短语复合结构,You can open them for the public. The stadiums can be used to take exercise.,You can open the stadiums which can be used to take exercise for the public,5.润色修正,四. 尝试多样化表达方式,定语从句,各种状语从句,我们锻炼的越多,我们就越健康。,The more exercises we do, the healthier we will become.,被动语态,We should pay more attention to the stadiums.,More attention should be paid to the stadiums.,I heard you are collecting some advice on how to make the best of the stadiums after the 29th Olympic Games were hosted in Beijing with a great success. Here I would like to contribute the following suggestions to you. First of all, the stadiums can be opened to the public. The public can strengthen their bodies. Secondly, The stadiums can be rented to sport company which organize matches. It can bring in much more profits. last but not least, They can be used as tourist attraction. It can attract many visitors. From my point of view, we should do what we can to make full use the stadium. I would appreciate it very much if you would take my advice into deep consideration,5.润色修正,高考书面表达各档次的给分范围和要求,第五档(21-25分) 完全完成了试题规定的任务: 准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容,要点无遗漏 应用了较多的语法结构和词汇 语法结构和词汇有少许错误,但为尽可能使用较复杂表达方式 所致;具备较强的语言应用能力 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑 完全达到了预期的写作目的。,第四档(16-20分) 完成了试题规定的任务: 比较准确、清楚地表达了短文的内容 应用语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求 语法结构和词汇应用基本准确,少许错误主要是因为尝试较复 杂语言结构或词汇所致 应用简单的语句间的连接成分,使全文结构紧凑达到了预期的写作目的。,With the 29th Olympic Ga

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